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The Cat is Dead

Oh deedle-dee, three tots are we
And we're as clevr as can be.
We live with Grandma Ida and our dear old Grandpa Ed.
And Little baby Mike (the brat), and don't forget the Siamese cat,
And in the attic, from Detroit, lives big fat Uncle Fred.

Oh Grandpa wishes he were rich, and Grandma just complains, (the Bitch!)
And Uncle Fred sits drunk in bed, Mike cries all night and day.

The cat thinks that he owns the pace,
He bites and scratches on the face,
It'd be so nice if they all went away … away…

They cat is dead, the cat is dead, I went to pat him on the head.
He didn't purr, he didn't meow, he didn't blink or sniff.

He seemed to have a funny smile. It made me laugh, but all the while,
The tail that used to flippy-flop got awful cold and stiff.

We chopped him into little bits, and seasoned him with apple-pts,
And with some dust, we made a crust, and put him in a pie.

Into the oven he did slip, until the crust was nice and crisp.
I'll love that little kitty till I die … I die … I die-dee die-dee …

The cat is dead, the cat is dead. And Mikey too, and Uncle Fred,
Expiring oh so suddenly, while sipping down some tea.

The tea was hot! The tea was nice! With strychnine, and a little spice.
To cover up the funny taste of our conspiracy.

When Grandpa saw what we had done, he went straight for his hunting gun.
But we were quick, we stole the clip. The rest is history.

To make sure Grandma wouldn't flee, we gave her a lobotomy.
And now she's just as happy as can be … can be … can bee-dle…dee-dle…

The cat is dead, the cat is dead, I went to pat him on the head
He didn't purr, he didn't meow, he didn't blink of sniff.
He seemed to have a funny smile. It made me laugh, but all the while,
The tail that used to flippy-flop, got awful cold and stiff.

We chopped him into little bits, and seasoned him with apple pits,
And with some dust, we made a crust and put him in a pie.
Into the oven he did slip, until the crust was nice and crisp.
I'll love that little kitty till I die … I die-dee die-dee die-dee….